Chapter Six
Healing Concepts
At first, you can delay the stark reality of loss and grief through common coping mechanisms, like blocking your grief.
Fighting back your emotions may seem like the right thing to do, so you choose to keep busy and begin to "move on with life." But your expectations of others may launch you into a place you don't seem to belong, adding to your potential for isolation. How do you begin to work through your grief? How do you pay attention to these new thoughts and feelings? After the deaths of their children, Ken described his and Lorrie's dilemma in this way:
"The crisis was over for others, and we were left alone to figure it out. The party was over, and the band packed up and went home. Life became unfamiliar, and the theme of change was everywhere."
Ken eventually was unable to work. His personal grief reactions became more and more complicated, affecting every dimension of his being. (Read The Book)
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Thomas M. Ellis, defines "shadow" as grief, discussing how isolating and overwhelming it can be. He uses narratives of loss from his therapy practice and details how grief and pain can ultimately transform one's life in a healing way, even though the present might seem hopeless and terrifying. In a little more than a 100 pages, the author empathizes with the sufferer, dwells in the muck awhile, then takes the sufferer to a place where he or she can live and breathe again. His short, excellent, and readable book-perfect for someone experiencing grief and sadness is recommended for all libraries. Library Journal - Erin Miller - July 6, 2006 |
